We have been in Florida almost for three years now and we still hadn't made it to Key West with the kids. Last year for Easter we made it down to Key Largo, our first time in the Keys in years. I decided once I lock up this job offer we are going to book a trip for Key West. It just happened to be right before the kids had spring break so it worked out perfect.
When I lived in South Florida we used to go to the Keys a couple times a year. It was about a 4 hour drive when I lived in Miramar, 4.5 from Coral Springs. Now the drive is closer to 8-9 hours depending on traffic, which absolutely sucks. I decided trying to make it all the way to Key West with the kids in one day was too much so we spent the first night in Islamorada at the Sunset Inn. It's a nice little Inn right off the highway in the middle of Islamorada. Nothing super fancy but it's kept up really well and the pool was heated like a bathtub. We were going to have dinner at the Florida Keys Brewery but they only had a food truck and weird food so we tried going to Papa Joes. However, the food there was expensive, didn't look good, and after 20 minutes the waiter still didn't come by for our order. I wasn't about to pay 30 bucks for a burger that takes two hours, so we did something I never do, we got up and left. The kids wanted Wendy's. It cost 1/4 what i would have spent at Papa Joes and the kids got a frosty with dinner so everyone was happy. We were going to go back to the brewery so I could do a flight but after everything I just bought the same beer from Publix and had it back at the hotel.
The next day we got up and drove to Key West. Somehow Adri read about Fred The Tree and wanted to find it. I already knew where Fred The Tree was so it wasn't hard to find. I had the kids turn off the electronics for this drive and take in the view. We stopped at Bahia Honda to walk to the bridge but the bridge is falling apart so they have moved the barrier back quite a bit since we've been there last. I'll continue with the rest of the trip below...
The pool at the Sunset Inn
Fred the tree.
At the Bahia Honda Bridge.
Back in 2008 we took my parents to Key West and we saw the Red Trousers perform. When we took my sister in 2009 they were not there. Due to the fact that it's been so long, and these guys are pretty close to my age, I was not expecting to ever see them there again. I was shocked when we saw them. It really made my day and things just got better when they pulled Dean into their show. These guys are really amazing and the fact that they are still doing it is just crazy to me. I have days where I feel like I need a cane to get out of bed and these guys are still doing the human flagpole. They did most of the same show, but they did not do the double planks, and they didn't use torches for juggling this time. These guys said they have been best friends since the first grade and performing this show for 20 years now.
Dean participating in their show. I missed his intro. When they picked him, he ran up and started running circles around their ladder.
Red Trousers back in 2008.
They start their show by having one of them walk well over 100 feet away and he throws the red hat. The other guy catches it with his head. In 2008 it took them two tries to get it right. This time he got it the first time with the wind blowing pretty hard.
They got the ladder setup right before they called up Dean.
The human flagpole.
We stuck around to watch this escape artist afterwards. He was funny but his jokes were definitely not for kids. Luckily my boys didn't get the jokes. I saw Adri put her hand over her mouth and giggle at one of his dirty jokes, but she denies that she understood it. He claims he has been on Cops, been to 23 countries, and arrested in 9. I don't know how much of that is true but the things he said were pretty funny. A lot of jokes about BDSM, as you would expect from a person getting chained up by strangers. After getting put in a strait jacket and chained up he was able to escape in under 30 seconds.
The next morning we went out for some Cuban breakfast and coffee. On our way back to the hotel we went to the lighthouse where the boys played in the banyan tree. They boys think this is the coolest tree they have ever seen and were playing prison in between the roots.
88 steps to the top.
On the way back to the hotel.
We spent most of the rest of the day at the hotel beach and pool. The beach at Casa Marina is better than the beach at Fort Zachary Taylor.
That night we went for Mexican food. I am a hard critic of Mexican food in this state. It's awful everywhere! Well we actually found a place called El Rinconcito that was legit and I had some really good birra tacos.
After dinner we went to Mallory Square again. The previous night we missed the sunset due to the shows.
Everyone loved the shirt "I pee in pools".
I was the first to climb the iceberg.
One of their coolest tricks.
Our last day in Key West was doing the water adventure. I've done this twice in the past but on Sebago. This time we went with Sunset Watersports. Overall, it was pretty good, but I think the Sebago was better. The Sebago had better spots for snorkeling, and we didn't have to get shuttled to the jet skis. The lunch was better with Sunset Watersports though and we finished it off with a couple Yuenglings. They had some dolphins come over to the boat right before we left and as we were going back to the dock one of them was trying to race the boat.
We all did some parasailing that day. At the end of my ride, I had my hands out in front of me instead of behind the rope and the parasail came to a sudden stop. I flew forward and got the wedgie of a lifetime. They were impressed that my fatass was actually able to get back up on the seat though. Most people cannot get back up in the water. All the kids loved parasailing. My kids have no fear after all the rollercoasters we have put them on.
Here's Zach and me.
Natalie, Adri, and Dean. 
They ask at the beginning if you want to get dipped. This is two days after the cold front and only a high of 75, which is colder than the average in January in Key West. So, it was a little chilly on the water, but I told them to dunk us anyways. I realized it wasn't the best idea when we were 600 feet up, wet, and had the wind blowing on us.
I was nice enough to warn Natalie that getting dunked would ruin it for Dean, so they only dipped their feet.
Afterward we drove back up to Florida City and got to our hotel late that night. I was in need of some La Carreta so we had an early lunch and then went to Hollywood Beach for a couple hours before the hellish drive home.
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