The Most Evil Flower Of The Southwest

I love the rain. When I lived in South Florida we got 110 days of rain a year and it still wasn't enough for me. Out here in the Phoenix area we can go months without rain so when we do get it it's a treat. The last couple weeks we got a few winter storms that greened up the hills and made the flowers bloom. I'm out of shape due to my surgery back in October and trying to get some weight off by hiking Daisy Mountain. 

Everything good in life has a down side. 

• Sugar - Obesity, diabetes, renal failure.
• Alcohol - Alcohol abuse, drunk drivers, cirrhosis of the liver.
• Sex - STDs.
• Boobies - Boob sweat.
• Desert rain - Flash floods and SCORPION WEED

Scorpion weed is nature's herpes. Like a lady of the night it tries to lure in the naive with its flowers. You think you've stumbled on something that brings you joy but two days later you're in urgent care getting shots and ointments regretting that you fell for the trap.

Scorpion weed comes with no warnings. There are no thorns, no spikes, no bright warning colors, no signs that say Achtung. Just pretty flowers that look like lavender inviting those who have not yet been scarred to come in for a closer look. Who would create such a flower?  If I hadn't given up on the idea of a higher power this flower would have changed my religion to Norse Paganism. I cannot accept the idea that a loving God would create this flower. This seems more like the act of Loki, the God of Mischief, God of Trickery.

My first couple years in the North Phoenix area I got a mild rash every spring while hiking. I've seen this rash before, it's the poison oak rash. For 2 years I was looking around for poison oak wondering how the hell I managed to get poison oak in the desert. It seems like if there is poison oak within 100 miles I'm bound to get it.  Well the spring before last the usual mild spring rash was far from mild. One week while taking pictures on my hike I got the rash on my arms. The next week after another hike I ended up in urgent care getting a shot in my butt when my calves swelled up and didn't look like the calves of a healthy stallion such as myself. My calves looked like they belonged to Hillary Rodham Clinton. I spent an afternoon online trying to figure out what could have done this when I stumbled on an article about scorpion weed. Scorpion weed, the pretty flowers that look like lavender, spawn of Satan, contains the same urushiol oil found on the leaves of poison oak, poison ivy, and poison sumac and in the sap of injured mango, pistachi, and cashew trees. It is believed that 85% of humans develop a rash when they come in contact with urushoil.

If you live in the Southwestern United States do not fall for the trap. During the Winter/Spring months no matter how warm it is keep your clothes on. Hike in long pants and avoid the purple flowers. When you get home throw your clothes straight in the washer and shower with lots of soap. Avoid touching everything! The rash is not contagious but the oil can be passed from people, pets, dirty clothes, and if you're really unlucky even the plant's tiny hairs blowing in the wind. Around Daisy Mountain this flower grows right up on the edges of trails. Carry something to wash your hands in case you have to tie your shoe laces. The oil can easily spread from shoes to face to any other body part you happen to touch. 

A field of Scorpion Weed growing between Gavilan Peak and Daisy Mountain.

My Hillary calves 2 years ago.

Round two of the holidays and Dean's 1st Birthday

This year we decided to stay home for Christmas again. I was on-call the second year in a row and didn't get a single call during Christmas. With the kids I think it's better to just stay here for Christmas and let them have their presents at home and then visit family after. So that is what we did.

In our house Christmas season officially starts after Thanksgiving. The best part of Christmas is the activities with the kids. The worst part is a month of Natalie's Christmas music and the kids watching Home Alone over and over. It's not that the movie isn't good, it's just that the movie is absolutely horrible. Back to the activities we were busy every weekend between Thanksgiving and New Years. I don't have a lot of say about it, the pictures say it all. Zach had t-ball, we took the kids to the snow, took them to see the Anthem Christmas Tree, which is the biggest in Arizona and is half a mile away from us, and we visited family. 

On another note Dean turned 1 just after New Years. I thought I'd write some things down that he can read one day.

• Dean loves it when we sing his song. It's a stupid song, but he loves it. Deep voice "Deanie Weenie", high voice "He's the Chicken Wing". That is his nickname. When Natalie and I came back from our anniversary trip she went to hold Dean and he just laid his head on her. When I came in the room I sang his song and he popped up flapping his arms like a bird, smiled, and made his squawks. I'm not normally the favorite parent so it was a pretty amazing moment.
• Dean loves the theme song to It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I forgot to tell my sister this before our trip and she had to deal with him being a terror. That song always makes me go from terror to quite, whether it's played from YouTube or me just humming it.  There are a couple others that he likes from It's Always Sunny, all songs by Heinz Kiessling. I put him to bed at night by playing these songs for him.
• Dean also likes The Chicken Dance song and likes it when we sing it and make him shake his butt.
• Dean is the biggest terror of all our children. No, it's not just me getting old and grumpy. He can be the happiest baby one minute and a complete grump butt the next. He cries all day and drives us to the point of insanity. He's lucky he's cute.
• Dean was the best of our kids with the boob but had to stop because of allergies. He nearly broke the bank this year with his hypoallergenic formula. We had to stop eating shrimp in this house because he was wheezing after someone cross contaminated his bottle, or something he got a hold of, after eating shrimp a couple weeks ago and he woke us up with his wheezing.
• Dean is very smart and active. He likes to climb on the fireplace, the stairs, close doors, push chairs around, and his new thing is pushing himself around on top of his toys to get across the living room faster.

Zach's last t-ball game.

The Anthem Christmas Tree.

This year we bought another real tree. Natalie wanted to go fake but I insisted on a real tree. I think half the fun of the tree is picking one out every year and I like variety. However the last three years we have bought trees that hardly drink any water once we get them home. It's like they are half dead by the time they hit the lot. I think next year we are going to avoid Home Depot and try somewhere else. If we have one more tree that doesn't do well I might have to surrender and go with a fake tree and a pine plugin. We decided to flock this year and the kids seemed to like it. My complaint is that I got the powdery flocking instead of the chunky stuff.

Flocking my tree.

This is Dean's new "Whoa" face.

Our trip to Flagstaff. We made it all the way up to Snow Bowl where it was 33 degrees at 11 am just to find out there is no sledding allowed. So we had to go back down the hill and find a hill in the city.

My sister asked me if his hat says "Anal". I would have asked her what is wrong with her but it really does look like that and they have pictures of girls wearing Canada shirts that look the same. His hat says Canada and no we did not stage this picture.

After sledding we found some good pizza in downtown Flagstaff with good local beer and a nice view of Mt. Humphrey. Funny thing about Flagstaff is that people walk around in shorts and t-shirts when it's in the low 40's. At least it's sunny.

After a late lunch we found one more spot to play in the snow. Can't wait til it gets deeper. 

Dean is finally eating real food. He loved the bottle and tried resisting food for a long time.

I took Adri shooting about a month ago. She is a lefty so I tried to get her to shoot left handed. She did OK lefty but when I had her shoot like a normal person (right handed) she was doing a lot better.

Right before Thanksgiving I replaced the trampoline mat. Once I put all the springs back on I noticed they were very loose. so now we have a new mat and new springs.

Christmas pictures.

After Christmas we went to Riverside to see family. We went to Corona, really close to where I was born, and had some of the best tacos I've ever had.

Dean's first birthday. He had a little too much excitement with all the people he didn't know and had a breakdown shortly after getting his cake.

And here it starts.

When we got back to Anthem my sister-in-laws came into town for a week. We played on of our favorite drinking games where I came across this card. I couldn't stop laughing at it.

The kids at the park last week.

Dean really hates the cold floors so he doesn't let his legs touch when he crawls around in his diaper.

My dad was wrestling with Zach and Adri. Dean did not approve. At one point he tried getting down to the ground to help out.

Dean shaking his head no.

Crawling with his toys.

First birthday.